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Meet your Luck Semester Facilitatrix: The Jonicorn

The Jonicorn is your spirit animal. She hurls you out of your comfort zone and into a more comfortable one. She massages your imagination and helps you feel liberated, while tapping into your inherent greatness. She makes you salivate, giggle, play, cringe, and fall in love, all at once. She has one hairy leg and one smooth leg, so take your pick!

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Otherwise known as Michelle Joni, the New York based funtrepreneur has been leading adults in inner child discovery via Michelle Joni’s Skipping Club, her world-famous preschool for adults called Preschool Mastermind, as well as Orgasm classes and creating a variety of playful sacred spaces at parties, festivals and events. IMG_9179The Jonicorn will travel, and do virtual sessions too. She is at your service to entertain, heal, and infuse new limitless possibility and wonder into your life! She is dominant, she is submissive, she leaves a trail of sparkle everywhere she goes…. she is the Jonicorn, and she is here to make your sweet fantasies come true!

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Apply to join Academy C!

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EXTRACURRICULAR: HIRE THE JONICORN FOR THE FOLLOWING REAL-LIFE FANTASY SERVICES:

All services are a la carte, customizable, blendable and bendable. The Jonicorn is available for virtual reality or actual reality. Has glitter, will travel!  Email jonicorn(at)michellejoni.com for private bookings.BRainbow fantasy life

  • ARTISTIC MUSE: The Jonicorn is a figment of your imagination and she is here you to decorate your life with sparkles, rainbows, sunshine, an endless supply of outfit changes, and downright ::magic::. She wants to hang out at your art studio, your home, your sacred space. Photograph her, paint her, tell her how you want her. She will inspire your creativity and imagination to the umpth, thumpth, a humpth degree. She wants your odd requests and desires. She serves looks, love, and legs for days. She is the Jonicorn, and she wants to be your Muse.

 

photo by Mark Sklawerphoto by Mark Sklawer

  • KITTY: Bring in the Jonicorn as your cat. Meow! Yes, she wants to be your live-in kitty where she stretches in your living room, hangs out with you in the kitchen, perches beautifully on various pieces of furniture, plays nice with other cats. You can pet her, you can paint her, you can leave her alone all day. She’ll expect that you feed her delicious foods on purrrfect platters, and give her somewhere nice to sleep. She’ll listen to all your secrets, she’ll heal and hail you with her paws and poise. She’ll help you wherever she can, she may or may not wear a shirt, and she won’t say a word!

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  • SONGSTRESS: Let the Jonicorn enchant you with an endless flow of rhythm and song. Call upon the Jonicorn for a freestyle where the Jonicorn sings about you and your favorite things, or you inspire the lyrics by doing something sexy. Call her into the studio to make musical ::magic:: together. She also writes personalized lyrics and jingles, and preens a good parody. Do you have a brand or company that you would love to see expressed in song? Want a Jonicorn to fill your home with music and serenade you to sleep? Want a Jonicorn virtual jam to awaken the voice and fire within you? She’ll la la la for you, however you like it!
  • MASSAGE GODDESS: The Jonicorn wants to heal you, rejuvenate you, revive you with touch. Among the illumassagi, it is no secret that she gives the best most awakening massage you ever had, thanks to three years of receiving, researching, and aggregating all the top techniques around the world as the editor of Spa Week Daily. { See Jonicorn’s Spa Video Reel from WayBackWhen! } She gives full body massages with her full body. The Jonicorn especially specializes above the neck: Her regenerating facial massages get into places you forgot you had, even though you look at them every day, and have been compared to a DMT trip. She gives crowning headgasmic massages that end with an actual crown. Virtually, she can teach you techniques.

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  • BARBIE DOLL: Change your outfit, change the world! The Jonicorn wants be your dress-up doll. She will change her outfit and hair all day long. You can give her a dress up box with all sorts of outfits, gowns, lingerie and lace to try on. You can challenge her to create 10 new hairstyles today. Tell her what kind of Barbie you’d like to have, and she’s living in the Material World!

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  • WARDROBE WIZARD: Change your outfit, change the world! The Jonicorn wants to turn you into a dress-up toll too! Wouldn’t you love to discover a whole new wardrobe, sitting right in your closet? The Wardrobe Wizard incarnation of the Jonicorn does a thing where she goes through your entire closet, tach you new tricks to play with and look fabulous in your clothes. If you’d like, she will make you a whole slew of new outfits, wrapped in Perfect Bundles for you to wear for the next month. She will help you sort through to get rid of what you don’t need, and she’ll come equipped with basics that you will probably will need. This experience is often paired with an epic thrift shopping spree. She does wardrobe and outfit consultation in person and virtually. She also loves playing with fabric.

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  • MERMAID: Do you have a boat? Do you need a mermaid to sail the seas with you? Someone to watch your boat while you are gone? Ariel Joni is your Mermicorn!

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  • JONICORN / ORIGINAL UNICORN: Perhaps you want a Jonicorn that resembles your first vision of Joni in sparkling Unicorn form, and well by golly you may have exactly that.

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Join Jonicorn

Apply to join Academy C!

Email jonicorn@michellejoni.com for private bookings… let’s make your fantasies realities!

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